


Young Dumb & Broke

by jeremyheere_enthusiast



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: CVS, Character Study, Disordered Eating, EDNOS, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self Harm, Marijuana, Pre-Canon, Service Dogs, Swearing, Underage Smoking, my ocs are uhhhhhhhhhhhhh druggies, not a shipping fic, the fuck word
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-13 15:49:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15367980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeremyheere_enthusiast/pseuds/jeremyheere_enthusiast
Summary: Benji then closed his eyes, hiked his hoodie sleeves up, and leaned into Noah, who shifted and laid his arm around his shoulders. It was awkward and uncomfortable, yet Benji seemed to visibly untense and sighed contently. His head fitted into Noah’s neck and Noah lightly combed through his unruly brown hair. Connor couldn't figure out why this made his stomach burn with jealousy, but it did. His eyes panned down from Benji's face to his arms and his gut twisted."What happened to your arms?" He asked loudly. He grimaced as he realized the volume of his voice.Benji jumped at the sound, eyes wide, and shoved his sleeves back down before saying a loud and defensive, "Fuck off."—AKA Connor meets three teenagers and a German Shepard at CVS early in the morning and has got to stop making his mom cry.





	Young Dumb & Broke

**Author's Note:**

> this is a character study i did a while ago. i found it in my WIP folder at like 2 in the morning and decided to finish it (explanations of my oc’s in the end notes!!)

Connor Murphy had his first cigarette when he was thirteen.

 

He’d found one hardly smoked on the ground and cautiously looked around. Picking it up and pocketing it on an impulse, he went home and snagged a lighter from a drawer in the kitchen.

 

He snuck out around three AM on a late Friday night and walked to the CVS down the road where all the local high school junkies hung out. When he got within a few hundred feet he saw three figures and surprisingly a dog huddled close. They had noticed him and a girl with blue hair and brown roots, and a lot of piercings visibly looked displeased at seeing a scrawny, no older than fourteen, child at an hour like three in the morning. She whispered something to the two others, who he recognized as one lanky, awkward looking boy and the other, also probably a boy, shorter and holding a large, leashed dog.

 

She’d approached him while the other two hung behind, the shorter one with the dog whispering to the taller boy, who had his face in his hands, a cigarette or joint maybe, held snuggly between his middle and forefinger. He had ripped black jeans and a large black hoodie, which his seemingly thin frame swam in. The other boy was wearing a yellow shirt that had black words that Connor couldn’t read from his distance. It was paired with a thin black zipper jacket. He was also wearing grey joggers and had a bag on his back. Though from where he was he could see what kind of dog it was, the dog was massive compared to its handler. The brown roots girl was wearing a purposely ripped rose-colored hoodie and the shortest black shorts Connor had ever seen. She was pretty. Her tan legs seemed to sparkle. Girls at his school definitely didn’t look like her.

 

“Isn’t it past your bed time?” Brown roots asked with an undecipherable look on her face.

 

She stopped a few feet away from where Connor was standing, and the boy with his head in his hands, lifted his head only to take a long drag of what Connor had determined to be a joint with his eyes still shut, short one still whispering and reaching up to begin rubbing his back. He looked extremely pale when Connor saw his face. He looked almost... ill.

 

Connor was surprised at his sudden burst of confidence. “I don’t know. Is it?”

 

He had tried to be cool and took the single cigarette out of his deep pockets and stuck it in his mouth. He took the lighter out of his hoodie pocket and lit the cigarette, but didn’t inhale. He looked at the ground and only had two words running through his head repeating like a mantra, _’Don’t cough, don’t cough, don’t cough, please don’t cough.’_

 

When he ran out of breath he sucked in an audible gasp and choked on the acrid smoke he took in with it. His face burned with embarrassment as he broke into a coughing fit.

 

The two behind brown roots both glanced up, the short boy doing so in a casually manner, while the other visibly jumped and looked up quick with glassy eyes. The dogs ears perked up as well but it stayed calmly sat next to the short boy.

 

Brown roots laughed and spoke softly, “Smoke much?”

 

Connor finally felt the coughs slow down and glared at her, lightly shaking and breathing hard. He felt a bit light headed and absently tried to remember the last thing he had eaten, feeling the familiar whooshing in his ears that accompanied fainting. He tried to steady himself, swaying a bit, but stumbled forwards and felt his head begin to throb slightly.

 

Brown roots looked confused and slowly took several steps towards him.

 

”Um... are you alright kid?” She questioned while hunching down to see his face.

 

”I’m  _fine_. Don’t c— _Ugh_! Call me kid!”Connor hissed, clutching his head.

 

Brown roots stepped closer, now right in front of him, and reached up to push back his shoulder and look at his face. He tensed up at first but look back at her, eyes flashing.

 

”What?” He spat.

 

”What are you doing out here?” She asked him, still returning his glare, but her face had softened. Though she seemed to have a permanent look of worry etched into her face, eyebrows drawn and forehead pinched.

 

”Why do you care? I could ask you creeps the same.” Connor said. He did a once over of all of them, seemingly sizing them up. He silently noted his voice having the slightest shake.

 

”Seriously, what are you doing? Do you need any help?” She said.

 

”God, who are you? Like... my mom? Because you sound like her.” 

 

Brown roots snorted softly, obviously finding what he said funny.

 

His eyes began to flash again and he felt the urge to lash out building in his chest.

 

”Okay, chill man. I’m Alexia. Those three over there are Noah, Kory, and Benji. Wanna stay for a bit?” She asked with a lazy smile, stepping away to walk back to the boys. The shorter boy gave Connor a nervous look, while the taller, who was now back to his hunched position, seemingly looked through him, eyes just as glassy as before. He took a long drag off the joint and scratched at his upper arm.

 

Connor gave them all a skeptical look, before following Brown roots—Alexia — over to the back wall of the CVS. 

 

Once in earshot he heard the shorter boy say in a soft tone to Alexia, “Who’s this?”

 

She looked back at him and opened her mouth to say something, but paused. “What _is_  your name?”

 

“Connor.” He said in a hoarse tone.

 

“That’s Connor.” She said swinging her thumb in his direction. “He’s gunna hang with us for a bit.”

 

 “Benj, that cool?' She added, touching his arm lightly. Connor took note that the taller boy was Benji apparently.

 

Benji simply shrugged and took another drag. He was clearly quite the conversationalist.

 

They all stared at Connor, so he averted his gaze and looked at the dog. He could now see it was a large German Shepard with a vest on. The vest had a ton of little patches Connor couldn't read due to the lighting.

 

"Uh... what's with the dog?" Connor asked glancing back up.

 

The short boy gave a small smile and said, "That's Kory. He... is my service dog."

 

Connor nodded not knowing how to respond and dug his hands further into his pockets, wishing he could just disappear. 

 

Benji suddenly slid down the wall and sat on the floor, glassy eyes still staring off into space, joint still fit between his fingers. Noah followed suit and started rubbing his back again, whispering low and comforting words. Alexia simply leaned down and tugged the joint away from him, taking a drag. He didn't even flinch.

 

"Um, is he blind or something? Why is he staring at me like that?" Connor asked. He didn't mean to sound insensitive, but the guy was freaking him out. 

 

"Not blind, but I don't think he can see you." Alexia said puffing out smoke. She blew a smoke ring and smirked at Noah. Some kind of joke between them, Connor guessed.

 

"Shut up, Al.” Benji scoffed.

 

His voice was quiet and tired and much like Connor had imagined it to be.

 

Benji then closed his eyes, hiked his hoodie sleeves up, and leaned into Noah, who shifted and laid his arm around his shoulders. It was awkward and uncomfortable, yet Benji seemed to visibly untense and sighed contently. His head fitted into Noah’s neck and Noah lightly combed through his unruly brown hair. Connor couldn't figure out why this made his stomach burn with jealousy, but it did. His eyes panned down from Benji's face to his arms and his gut twisted. 

 

"What happened to your arms?" He asked loudly. He grimaced as he realized the volume of his voice.

 

Benji jumped at the sound, eyes wide, and shoved his sleeves back down before saying a loud and defensive, "Fuck off." 

 

Connor cocked an eyebrow and looked at Alexia for an explanation but she simply took a final drag from the joint, which she had stuck in a bobby-pin, and flicked it onto the floor. She then stuck the bobby-pin back into the knot on her head and pulled out her phone.

 

"Hey uh Connor, right? It's nearly five. You should maybe head back home, your folks'll be mad as Hell if they catch you.

 

 _'Had it really been almost two hours?'_ Connor thought to himself. He looked at the two boys on the floor with the dog and then back at Alexia.

 

"Oh, okay yeah. Bye."

 

She waved and told him to be safe while sitting down onto the floor with the others and scratching the dogs ears.

 

He felt that familiar feeling of jealousy burn his stomach and wring out his organs. 

 

 _‘Why can’t you just be fucking_ normal _?’_ He thought bitterly.

 

He turned around and walked away. He realized how utterly surreal that whole experience was and didn’t know how to feel. Who invites a lame, scrawny thirteen year old to hang out with them while they get high? Somehow he ended up feeling bad.

 

By the time he's back on his street it’s 5:30.

 

He see's his house and feels his stomach drop.

 

The lights were on.

 

 

* * *

 

"You cannot keep acting out like this Connor! It's unacceptable!"

 

His father's words echoed in his head as he laid in his bed staring at the ceiling fan.

 

Ungrateful.

 

Disappointment. 

 

Needed to get his act together before he really messes up.

 

Of course when he walked in his mom was crying. She always cried when he did stuff like this. “Stuff” being all the bad things he does. He makes his mom cry a lot. That probably makes him a bad person.

 

Larry was red-faced and furious as his mom ran up to him bombarding him with questions. He looked like one of those angry cartoon characters, steam plooming out of his ears, a train whistle accompaning it. He could have laughed if it wasn’t for the fact that he already was spiraling down into pit of self-hatred and guilt for making his mom cry. Again.

 

He'd yelled and yelled, waking Zoe, who came downstairs bleary eyed questioning why they were yelling. His mom simply walked over to her and led her back up the stairs, leaving his to his father angry wrath.

 

A knock at his door pulled him back into reality and a voice he didn't recognize as his own answered with a "Who is it?"

 

The door opened and Zoe peered out from behind it. She looked like a child afraid of confronting a parent about a broken vase.

 

"Mom says breakfast is read—"

 

"Tell her I'm not hungry." He replied, cutting her off.

 

 “Are you sure? Because mom seems to really want you to come out of your ro—”

 

“I _said_ I’m not hungry.” He snapped.

 

"Okay..." She replied cautiously, pulling her head away from the cracked door and shutting it.

 

He sighed and turned back to the ceiling.

 

Connor felt his stomach growl and he shoved his fist into it, rolling on his side. He fell back asleep, hunger pains almost unbearable.

 

Feeling completely and utterly empty. 

**Author's Note:**

> so uhhhhhhh hope you enjoyed? 
> 
> i’m not that happy with this but it’s w/e
> 
> so basically my oc’s are alexia, noah and his service dog kory, and benji the angsty anime backstory god.
> 
> alexia is 17 and a pothead™. she’s got a younger sister named kaylee (kay) and two leopard geckos named sebastian and morris. she’s got tons of piercing and tattoos and has a hard exterior. but she’s really a giant teddy bear with a soft spot for her fav boys.
> 
> noah is 16 and the oldest in his family. he has epilepsy and got his service when he was 14. kory was 1 1/2 years old when he got certified as a seizure alert dog and is noah’s second world. benji being his first. he also has asd (autism spectrum disorder) but that’s not the most relevant thing to this story. he generally hates all touch but benji is the only acception. it’s a good pressure stim for him.
> 
> and that brings us to the edgelord himself, benji boy. his backstory is... complicated. he means a lot to me and as dumb as it sounds has gotten me through a lot. he’s 17, the oldest of the three of them, and lives with his two foster parents and their beloved and most important daughter, phoenix. i won’t go into as much details as i did with the others but benji is one of the most complicated characters to write and i lov him.
> 
> so now that i’ve info dumped that... i’m cutting myself off before this becomes longer than the actual work it’s self
> 
> you can follow me on tumblr at illbecoolincollege and on instagram as spencer.ryxn!
> 
> thanks for reading! and if you read all that then kudos to you and i hope some kudos to me.
> 
> ok i’ll leave that wasn’t funny dksjkjds


End file.
